I would like to start off by saying “I never thought COVID-19 would infect and affect my family”. But deep down, I knew it was a possibility. Before I go any further, Dad has been released from the hospital.

I also want to offer my condolences to those of you that have lost a loved one this year due to COVID-19. 2020 has been challenging to say the least.

I’m sharing my lessons learned from having a parent hospitalized for COVID-19 in the hopes that I can help you navigate through this tough time a little more gracefully than I did.

First off, Dad is 80 years old.

I was driving home from Texas and checking on Dad every 30 minutes. I realized he was taking a turn for the worst after a round of coughing spasms that left him drained, slurring his words, out of breath and low on energy. After persuading him to allow me to send the EMS to his home, I called 911 and answered a plethora of questions regarding his symptoms and who he might have been in direct contact with most recently.

My first mistake was not asking where they would take Dad while I was on the phone with 911. I spent a sleepless night wondering where Dad was and how he was doing.

 My second mistake was thinking that Emergency Workers would transport Dad to veterans hospital because he is a veteran. They didn’t. They took him to the closest hospital to his home.

In the flurry of commotion, Dad left without any of his personal belongings. To my relief, the hospital allowed for items to be dropped off at the security desk and delivered to Dad's room. So I was able to take him things like his slippers, toiletries, magazines, robes, things to make his stay more comfortable.

Six Lessons Learned When Dad Was Hospitalized For COVID-19

 I. Virtual Calling via Google DUO

During Dad’s stay in the hospital, it was frustrating not to see him or get updates from the medical staff. We spoke on the phone several times a day, but it was hard to understand how he was doing. Thankfully my daughter previously downloaded GOOGLE DUO on his phone . So I downloaded the app and called Dad. I was able to see him, his room, read his reminders on the white board and speak to the medical staff. This relieved anxiety making the conversation less stressful for me and Dad.

 II. List of Medications

Getting a list of your parents medications is important. The attending doctors and nurses need to know what medication your parent(s) are taking. Have a list readily available to send to the hospital. When our parents find themselves in a vulnerable situation and secluded from family, knowing the hospital has a current list of their medication, is comforting.

III. Doctors Contact Information

Just like keeping a list of their medication is important, so is having their physicians contact information. The hospital asked Dad for his primary care physician’s contact info and he was unable to provide it. Keeping your parents primary care physician up-to-date about their COVID experience is critical to future medical care.

IV. Home Cleaning Service

If your parent(s) lives alone, plan to have their residence cleaned while they are in the hospital. COVID-19 is highly contagious. Hiring a company to properly clean and sanitize your parents home, using products that include certain Environmental Protection Association (EPA) registered disinfecting products and specific cleaning methods to reduce bacteria will ensure a safe recovery.

**You might also want to consider having your parent(s) vehicle disinfected.**

 V. Drop Off Fresh Home Cooked Meals

When your parent(s) arrive home from the hospital, it is helpful to have some of their favorite meals readily available. Depending on what you make it could take you 4-6 hours to create a week's worth of meals to deliver to their front porch. (Social distancing is still very important to keep yourself and your parents healthy). Pack the meals in easy to use containers that can be stored in the refrigerator or freezer and can be reheated in the microwave.

VI. Patience

Having a parent test positive for COVID-19 is our worst fear. However, we need to stay mindful that it is their worst fear too. Our parents were our caregivers and our source of support during our early years. So it is hard on them when they are now sick and in a vulnerable state. So be patient. They are not used to having to listen to their children tell them what is best for them and it is during these times that tempers rise. We must be mindful to keep our egos in-check, be understanding and empathetic.

Here are some mindfulness tips when caring for parent with covid

Be supportive - Your parents are adults with the right to make decisions. Dad didn’t want his home cleaned. He is very private and didn’t want anyone going into his home when he wasn’t there, so I had to honor his wishes, even though I knew it would be easier and better for his home to be disinfected, I had to accept his wishes.

Choose Your Battles - Decide what issues are the most important and focus on them. After care, following up to get another covid test and following up with their doctor are important. These should take top priority

Treat your parent(s) like adults - just because they are sick does not mean they can’t think for themselves. There will be times that your parent(s) will become stubborn or behave irrationally. Just remember the main objective is to help your parent(s) receive the best care possible and to recover.

Find an outlet for your feelings - If you find yourself losing patience, getting angry or the conversations are becoming stressful, find an outlet to vent. Confide in a friend, spouse, sibling, therapist or online support group.